Children Cannot Be Failures

Children Cannot Be Failures!
Guest Blogger Connye LaCombe, Ed.D., C.H.

Children are almost always in a light state of hypnosis.  Their young minds are taking in information and developing beliefs all the time; Beliefs about the world, about themselves, about other people in their lives, and about what they can expect in the future.  These beliefs make up their knowledge base- things they know to be true.  The light state of hypnosis means that much of what comes in is not put  through an "Is this really true" filter.  The information slips into the realm of subconscious beliefs on which we base our behavior.

Imagine listening to the two statements, "You are a failure," and "You failed that time."  How does each statement make you feel?  The first describes you, the second describes what happened.  To a child, the first statement is a solid step toward a belief that is increasingly hard to alter the more times it is heard.  Consider the following statements that children often hear:

Labels Person Labels Action
You're a bad boy/girl. That was a bad thing to do.
You are dumb (stupid). You need to learn more about...
You are clumsy. Next time you will want to pay attention to...

This is just a sampling of the labeling statements that we say that unintentionally leave our children with the belief that they are bad, a failure, stupid, etc.  If a child believes they are stupid, why would they try to learn something?

The truth is that no child is a failure.  No child is stupid.  No child is clumsy.  No child is bad.  A child is a work in progress.  They are developing into something; they aren't there yet.  If we want our children to develop into a wonderful, self-confident, intelligent adult, we need to feed those beliefs with our words.

If you want your child to be smart, tell her that she is smart.  If you want your child to be athletic, tell him that he is an excellent runner (jumper, batter, etc.).  If you want your child to be a reader, tell them they are doing a great job reading and encourage them to continue without criticizing their errors as they learn new vocabulary.  Let your words ring true by being specific with your praise:  "You described how to add very well,"  "I'm so glad that you set the table with just the right number of plates,"  "I'm so lucky to have you to read to me."

I work with many adults who are still carrying the beliefs that were instilled in their minds as children.  The labels they carry prevent them from being successful at any number of things.  Through hypnosis, they are able to regress back to the moment when the belief formed and it is usually before they are six years old.  When young, the beliefs can change fairly easily.  It gets harder as they grow.  By the time they are teens, they are often hard wired into their belief system and it takes a lot of work to change them.  Hypnosis can help speed the process, but wouldn't it be lovely if all children believed they were smart, beautiful, wise, athletic, graceful, and fun to be with?  You can help your child develop those beliefs by starting now - regardless of their current age.


Connye LaCombe is a long time educator and hypnotist.  She enjoys working with people to help them overcome the beliefs that do not serve them well.  For students, this can often mean academic success. http://www.lacombehypnosis.com/